Will you take the Kectil Male Promise Keeper Pledge?

(If so, you will be respected and loved by females!)

Wow! Our Monday Kectil post on Males as Promise Keepers caused a huge response! In four days on Facebook, the post was shared with over 3000 youth! This is the most widely read Kectil post this year. And it created extensive discussion, debate and sometimes sensitivity and disagreement about the proper role of males and females in communities in developing countries. Simply said, it struck a nerve.

Many told us this is the first time the issue has been raised head-on in an open manner like this. Kectil is proud to be a forum for honest discussions.

The Kectil Male Promise Leader Pledge is:

“If I am with this girl and she gets pregnant, would I be willing to be a Promise Keeper and take care of the girl and the baby with a full commitment?”

If the answer is no, then put your hands in your pocket and walk away.

Males should avoid conduct that can lead teenage pregnancies, assaults and violence against females. We wanted to share with you a range of comments we received through a number of portals and the Kectil response.

  1. “The Kectil Pledge is anti-male.”

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Kectil Pledge is highly pro-male. It encourages the best qualities in men (the ones females love and adore!), which include the biological male protective instinct to defend the community and their strength for ethical leadership. Males best lead through morality. It also honors males by emphasizing that babies and children need their father’s love and protection to grow up to be healthy adults.

  1. “Boys in some cultures are taught that having sex with a girl at an early age makes them a success.”

This is very sad training. In fact, this behavior may destroy three lives. The boy is praised for hurting girls beginning at a young age instead of studying in school and achieving knowledge, which harms the boy’s personal and career growth. The girl is tricked into thinking the boy will love and support her and then learns not to trust people, and if unlucky, becomes pregnant, which destroys her life before it has really begun. And a baby may be created in a very unfortunate situation. Would you like to be born to a teenage girl who was taken advantage of by a boy who walked away? We dare say no.

  1. “What should I do if I impregnate a girl and don’t have the money to support them? It is asking too much for me to take responsibility and it is not my fault.”

        The simple answer is don’t do something you can’t afford, and don’t destroy lives.

  1. “In my country, it is normal for males to beat their wives or girlfriends to “make them behave.” I grew up with this culture and was trained this is how I should control my girlfriend.”

Break the cycle! Protect and nurture the women around you, don’t hurt them. Control never leads to a good relationship—great males act through moral leadership and patience, not violence. Females who are beaten will grow to hate the male…is that the outcome you want?

  1. “These attitudes are too embedded in our culture to change and it seems like 98% of males disagree with the Kectil position and think it is against how they were raised.”

Our answer: Nothing is impossible! Your generation can change the world!  You live in the world of social media. Praise men for being Promise Keepers! Love them and admire them for their courage and moral leadership! Spread the word! Share! Please give us suggestions how to make this happen! Keep the discussion open.

  1. “If females want males to respect them and be Promise Keepers, they should dress modestly and professionally.”

We agree! Females should ask—what message am I giving with how I present myself? Dress for Respect. However, even if a girl dresses inappropriately, that is not a “free ticket” for a male to take advantage of it. Girls dress wrong sometimes because they are confused and think this is how they will get love and support from a male. Girls don’t dress like that because they want to be used. Don’t take advantage of the confusion.

  1. Just to compare cultures, if a male gets a female pregnant in the United States, the court can order a DNA test to confirm and can then order the male to support the child, and if he doesn’t, he can be held in contempt of court and put in jail. It is against the law in the U.S. not to be financially responsible for a child you create. If a male beats a female in the United States, it is a misdemeanor or a felony and may be punished with a jail term. These laws are enforced. Similar laws exist in other developed countries.

This is why we love the Kectil platform—we openly tackle the most difficult issues! Join the movement.